August has 31 days but those sure seem to zip off the calendar page!  We've had record-breaking temperatures, including the monthly average being something like 27'C.  For us, as in many households, the annual Fall Fair creates a whirl-wind of activity marking the end of that scorching month. 

Our local fair starts on a Friday.  That's early evening for "tourists."  The organizers, I'm sure, had started planning about 362 days beforehand.  The workers, about a couple weeks ahead with the physical stuff; trying to clean up the park, grounds & buildings being used.  The committee heads in full froth & bother by about the last 72 hours' countdown to official opening… No sleeping till the judging of the last zucchini, the last 1st grade macaroni picture and the last yearling calf are voted on. 

Now, about the rest of us…. This probably goes on in every household with school-aged children.  Our gal, as she gets older, and more 'into it' and had vocalized her desire to enter as many contests as was possible!  So, all during that sweltering hot month of August, when she'd duck into the house to absorb the air conditioning and proclaim her boredom, we'd suggest, as we opened the very recognizable neon green cover of the Fall Fair Book under her nose, that she could get started on doing a craft or two, ( that she could enter in said fair). 

Child;  "Nooo!  It's too early!" 

Parent;  "Umm.  It's three weeks away, it'll be here sooner than you think if you want to enter all those 46 different contest categories, Dear."  

C; "Uhhhggh!"  Big sigh.  "But I don't know what to make!"

P: "How be you start with the,…. "  …sound of pages turning,....  "Ah, the rock painted to look like a bug.  I think you have about 4 dozen rocks collected around the house now."  The cast is off my big toe already.

C; "But I don't know what bug to make!  I think I'll bake some cookies."

P; "Dear, it's 32'C outside. I'm not turning on the oven."

C; "OK. brownies then."

P: Big sigh "Let's just go to the beach."

And so the deadline crept closer and closer with only one or two objects d'art completed.

P;  Monday now of Fair week.  "Dear. You know we can haul your junk, I mean your artwork, to the fair on Thursday night."

Still more procrastination!!   Finally, over the course of about 3 hours, 2 litres of white glue, 4 litres of paint, two miles of tape, a stack of construction paper and every possible surface in the house, (short of the toilet tank lid), covered with stuff.  "Don't touch that!! It has to dry!"  or "No! Don't put that away yet, I still need it!!"   The child had rushed through the completion of about 13 projects to enter by Thursday evening.  Whew!  Got it boxed and delivered.  Got most of the glue & paper bits washed off the dog…

Friday 'Fall Fair' morning.  She still wanted to bake those brownies and cookies so woke up early.  The outdoor temperature had dropped to a pleasant 25'C so, what the heck. It's all just more glue on the floor of life!  I had had the wild idea to also do some baking and did so in the early hours between Thursday night and Friday morning, so my being on my hands and knees scraping was entertainment for the dog while child 'baked.'  Near-accident and big lesson; "Ahhh Dear, STOP!!!  Before you press harder on the knife to get the cookie dough sliced, check which edge you're using…"  It was a good thing I was already on the floor as I think I'd have fainted!   Delivered cooled baking before 11:30am deadline.

Did the chiaos stop then? Nooo!  Daughter dear also wanted to enter the dog and the hamster into the Pet Show!  So, Fall Fair Sunday, just when we parents thought we could relax a little,…. I got hold of 'Chip' the hamster, cleaned his cage, saturated him with a big spritz of shiney pet coat conditioner, then prayed he'd let her handle him later so she could dress him in Barbie clothes…

P;  "Dear, you have to decorate his cage and your red wagon yet, get off the computer!" 

C; "OK!  But first I need you to help me give the dog a bath!"

P;  muttering under her breath  " You have an hour!"

Thankfully, the dog is a good sport.  She got decorated as a cowgirl.  Rode the red wagon for one part of the Pet Show.  At the last minute, daughter recognized the dangers of bringing a confused, defenceless hamster into the midst of a flock of dogs, cats, rabbits and kids… So Chip stayed home.   Dog won the wiener toss, paws down!. She's a lab alright! 

A new bag of name brand flour, name brand shortening, oats, "Ooops, more eggs!"  (happy dog), more sugar, $15 weekend pass, $5 entry fee, late night watching the demolition derby,  $30 all-day rides, a few first, second and third-place ribbons later, (for both of us), few bucks on balloon darts game,  proud dog owner… cost of a great weekend?  Priceless!  Child's favorite part of the fair?  "The Scrambler!"    !@* #*/#! … it figures! 

Parent's favorite part?  Bedtime!